"What Life D-D-Doth"
Season 1, episode 1
Xavier What Doth
Airdate: November 4, 2007
Director: John Lee

Vernon Chatman

Writers John Lee

Vernon Chatman

Alyson Levy

"Chief Beef Loco"

After being beaten up by some hicks when wandering into Burbury, Connecticut, Xavier starts to use a computer which begins to act up when looking for the answer to his question "What doth life?" A young woman comes up and tells him that she is sorry for the computer's inconvenience. Xavier begins to tell her his life story about how kids would pick on him and call him names such as "Chompsky Honk". He then tells her about his parents' deaths when he was practicing a spirit ritual. While doing so, Xavier had a fire going behind him which caused his house to go up in flames causing the death of his father.

After having the woman bored to tears with his story, she leaves.. He gets her out of the way of a truck when in actuality, the truck is nowhere near her. The truck belongs to the hicks who had beaten him up earlier in the episode, taking a whole truck-bed load of malfunctioning computers trying to process Xavier's "What doth life?" question. While they are ready to dump the computers in a landfill, Xavier tells them to dump them in the lake where no one can see them because it would hurt the environment. While they do so, Xavier follows the woman home where he watches her take a shower. Suddenly, she turns into a computerized being, which is being caused by the computers being dumped in the lake. After a failed attempt to infect and stop the computers with AIDS, every one of the computerized people begin have glitches and cause them to say words and do actions repeatedly.

Xavier breaks back into the woman's house, and asks the computer for an answer on why it is causing all of this; it's answer was that "What doth life?" was too hard to answer and set it's circuits to go past their maximum capacity. Chief Master Guru tells Xavier that he has to get things back to normal by playing his soul-soothing song. He takes the womans arm and a dog's organ to make a Shakashuri and plays a gentle song which turns everything back to normal. After turning everything back to normal, Xavier tests the computer out and while doing so, the woman comes back up and he tells her that what they had couldn't last and that his heart belongs to a lady named rambling on; and maybe they are just blimps in a void of nothingness and it is his time to walk away. After getting back into the desert, a man with a red car, red shirt, and sunglasses gives Xavier a ride. After hearing a life phrase by Xavier, the man shows Xavier his penis, which is stuck out while driving.